


another national anthem (where's my prize?)

by love_of_the_night



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, Gen, Wiggly Wins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_of_the_night/pseuds/love_of_the_night
Summary: wiggly gets his way.
Relationships: Linda Monroe & Wiggly, Wilbur Cross | Uncle Wiley & Wiggly
Kudos: 15





	another national anthem (where's my prize?)

wiggly gets his way.

first with america. howie goodman, that silly, silly man, tried to stop him. coming into the black and white without wiggly’s permission is never, never, never a good idea. that mean nursie-wurse tried to stop him too; she tried to kill his mummy! so wiggly made sure to rip out her gutsy-wuts and be mean about it too.

then with russia. the other portal made that easy. hundreds of adults, fully grown adults, clamoring, pining, killing for a doll made his job so much easier. no silly employees to stop them. just the want, no, the  _ need _ of a wiggly doll consumed the russians quickly, and soon, wiggly had total control of the russian government's bomby-woms!

after that, the ride to total control of that dimension's earth was easy. america and russia had a majority of the world's bombs, and threatening was one of wiggly's most favorite things to do! he didn’t get to do it very often, but that was good because it meant people liked wiggly.

mummy (mrs. monroe, as she made everyone else call her) had a lot of influence in america, and now that she was wiggly's mummy, she had even more! mummy helped his uncle wiley talk to the world with the technology they had. uncle wiley talked about how much all the kids in america loved wiggly, and how silly they had to be to not love wiggly! soon enough, adults across the world, in japan, england, australia, china, were grabbing at the chance to get a wiggly doll for their child. 

sometimes, people would steal the dolls and not pay uncle wiley and wiggly's mummy-wum for the dolls, and that was a big no-no! but it was okay, because the minute it happened, wiggly always knew. and wiggly would always slink into the backs of their tiny little minds. and wiggly would always say, "uh-oh, missy-wiss!" (or whatever their title was, wiggly was an eldritch god, he was  _ not _ disrespectful) "looks like you've been caught stealing one of my dolly-wolls!" and they would normally respond with a "what the  _ hell _ was that" and move along with their day. 

soon after they stole it, they would come home to their wife or their husband or their kids. the minute they greeted them with a "i have a surprise for you!" their eyesie-wies would drain from their sockets to come dripping out of their nose. their teeth would start to shake, then crack, then start to fall out of their mouth one by one, first the incisors, then the canines, then the premolars, and then the molars would collapse in on themselves from the lack of force inside the mouth. their hair would start falling out strand by strand, then curl by curl, then whatever was left would fall out all at once. the fingers and hands and arms that once held the cuddly doll would start to slice open, cut by a force unseen to the relatives, draining veins and splitting arteries. the legs would meet the same fate, as well as the torso and chest. the neck would be the last to be maimed, untouched before then. slowly, to drag out the torture of the criminal's family (as the criminal themself was well dead by now), wiggly would carve his name into their neck. 

whatever door they walked in would slam open with a  _ BANG! _ and the last thing the family would hear would be a kind little voice saying "they should have paid my uncle wiley. and my mummy! but they didn't. and now, you've paid the pricie-wice."

soon, people had learned to not steal wiggly dolls. this meant much less work for wiggly.

people had also learned to be  _ scared  _ of wiggly. but that wasn't what wiggly wanted!

wiggly wanted people to love him! no… to adore him! to... worship him. just like his mummy. 

wiggly needed the people of earth to  _ want _ him to be their god. it was not fun watching people cower when they saw the color green. it was not fun watching people flinch when they felt something soft brush against them. it was not fun watching people tremble when wiggling was even mentioned. wiggly wanted them to associate him with happiness, with fun, with joy!

so mummy and uncle wiley helped him change tactics. uncle wiley said something about a book called nineteen eighty-four, but what did wiggly care about the past?! he wanted people to worship him, and he wanted it now. uncle wiley told wiggly to act like a protector to the people of earth, to say that he was always watching, that he always had their backs if anything went wrong.

so he did.

and soon enough, everyone worshipped wiggly. he did just as uncle wiley said, and people adored him, wanted him to be a part of their everyday lives! 

people who didn't like wiggly, who didn't worship and adore the one true god, were quickly taken away and shot in the head. this made wiggly very angry. the results of such puny human weapons were too quick a death for blasphemers, and wiggly made this known to his servants very quickly. the humans began to do as wiggly had done to mean stealers who didn't pay his uncle wiley and his mummy. anyone who expressed any negativity towards wiggly was murdered. after those people were weeded out, the servants killed anyone who expressed any neutrality towards wiggly. if someone didn't express strong feelings of joy, of excitement, of salvation when they were reminded of wiggly, they were called out and rioted against. they were tortured, then their lifeless bodies were hung in the square.

and soon, the only beings left in the world were wiggly, uncle wiley, mummy (who had tossed away the pathetic name "linda monroe." what need did she have for a human name? she was wiggly's mummy, and that was what mattered.), and their worshipers. all was well with the world.

until it wasn’t.


End file.
